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Some People's Priorities...makes me scratch my head

April 16th, 2011 at 05:35 am

I stopped over at my girlfriends yesterday to catch up. She mentioned that she might be pregnant and went on to say that there is no way they can afford to have a baby. Okay.

We talked about many things. One being...she inquired about becoming a member back at the Club, but stated she couldn't afford it. I said it is $150/year until she gets the initiation fee paid off, which would be about three more years for them, then it drops down to $100/year. Our club is seasonal, which usually runs about 15 weeks or $10/week. Very cheap entertainment, if you ask me, for loads of summer fun to keep her kids busy.

She stated that they were two months behind on their mortgage; and that they just paid $2,000 for their dog to have surgery (which I understand with pets).

But, as we talked and we walked around so she could show me her new re-done basement, complete with all new carpet and tile, new furnace, washer and dryer, a large screen tv handing on the wall, a nice MAC desktop sitting on her desk and her scrapbooking room, I was a little perplexed.

She also stated that they have been paying a cleaning lady $60/week to come in a clean. I mean that is $240/month.

Really, you are behind on your mortgage and can't afford the Club, but you can afford all these new ammenities and a cleaning lady. Some people just have their priorities wrong. I wanted to say, stop the insanity and catch up on your mortgage, or you won't be able to enjoy your new basement and everything else that goes with it. I am bothered by this.

8 Responses to “Some People's Priorities...makes me scratch my head”

  1. rob62521 Says:

    Some folks have a sense of entitlement and I bet she's one of them. She deserves that updated basement and golly, she needs that cleaning lady! You are right, her priorities are pretty skewed.

  2. laura Says:


    My best friend just bought a new car - a Subaru Outback with heated leather seats, digital radio, cool tires, etc. At a steal for just over $22K. Ok, she has minimal retirment, student loans in deferment, a dog who wears a leather bomber "coat". My first thoughts were you will have to work until 70 to even stand a chance. She is 45. You'd think at that stage she'd have clue. Guess not. I did very good at not saying a word other than "it is a nice car". Can't make her change her priorities I guess.

  3. patientsaver Says:

    You should have told her! She sounds clueless.

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    I wonder if they plan to file bankruptcy...many people spend lots of money when they know it is on the horizon, to get their wants while they can.

    You might consider giving her a call and let her know you are worried about her and ask if they have thought about selling some things to get ahead on the mortgage and other ideas you might have to help their situation. It is a sticky subject, but if you approach it from your concern for her welfare it might be taken okay.

  5. ceejay74 Says:

    Yeah, my best friends worry me big time. They gave up their home (stopped paying and then walked away before it was repossessed) so one could quit being a lawyer and become a freelance photographer. Trouble is, one's got a law degree and the other a PhD in psychiatry, and I know they borrowed every cent of the tuition, hundreds of thousands of dollars. You can't get rid of that stuff with bankruptcy, either. I remember back when I was getting money sorted out, I helped one of them come up with a budget, so I saw their student loan amounts. At one point he extrapolated it out that he was going to have about a $10,000 surplus if he followed the budget for 6 months. A few months later I found out they'd just pissed it all away and were in trouble again.

    So now they rent a place and seem so much happier, but still I worry. I treated one of them to a play a couple months ago, and he insisted on buying us some wine afterward. I heard the cashier say his card was declined and he pulled out another one. Not too much later his partner told AS that he was taking yoga for about $60 per week. They've made some changes, but I still worry that they're not making the necessary decisions to get themselves out of the hole.

    I want so much better for them because I love them so much. But if you get too embroiled in their finances, it puts a strain on the friendship. I don't want to risk that, so I don't get involved anymore. I'd still give advice if I were asked, but that's it.

  6. CampFrugal Says:

    No, I won't say anything to them. It is not my place. They are intelligent people and can figure it out on their own. One of them has already filed for bankruptcy in the past. It just boggles my mind why you would put so much money into re-modeling a basement and not pay your mortgage. So you fixed up the house nicely for the mortgage company to take it away from you if you keep defaulting on your loan. Hmm.

  7. Looking Forward Says:

    Yeah a nice clean, updated home to give the bank. I don't get that either!

  8. MonkeyMama Says:

    I am not surprised in the least. Sounds like about everyone I know (who have all foreclosed).

    I noted a while ago that most of the people I know around here had valid hardships like unemployment and disability, they were all ALSO buying a ton of crap that they didn't need. Unfortunately, my generation as a whole feels a pretty large sense of entitlement. I have to restrain myself from rolling my eyes when acquaintances whine about how the economy ruined them financially. The worst of them made a solid $50k per year while her husband was chronically underemployed. So they decided to live something like a $150k lifestyle all those years, and borrow $300k against a house they had bought VERY reasonably and modestly. I thought her lifestyle was ridiculous all along as she complained about money whoas. I don't think she can ever understand and take personal responsibility for losing her home. It's all everyone else's fault. She decided hated my guts from the getgo because I was frugal and open about it. It's not one of those things where I was openly judgemental or said much to her, but I think I just really bothered her because I Could support my family on an income similar to hers. She told me at some point that I should "live" a little, which is kind of hilarious to think about. Yes, it is such a deprived lifestyle to provide a steady home for my children. I should spend money like water and be out on the street. Sounds much more fun!!! Rolleyes

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